Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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