I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
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We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
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Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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