What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
