check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
