I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize