There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
