I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
