I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Even my vagina gasped.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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