I wish I could teleport
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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