i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
This toilet bowl is my home.
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