You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
