with your own penis?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My day in three words: secret purse cake
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
