I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
my being single is dangerous.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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