i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
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There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
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its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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