dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
