i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize