tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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