think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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