I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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