would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
My vagina just recognized that song.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
