i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
