i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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