Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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