You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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