butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
