He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
