I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
