wanna go halves on a baby?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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