So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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