Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
