I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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