Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.