At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
