We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
