the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
