what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Randomize
