Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize