That's when you crack a 10am beer
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
