There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
