I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
