I skipped work to stalk him.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
