I have demons in me.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize