I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
