I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
