My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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