Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
