I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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