He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
