don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
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I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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