i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
