you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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