those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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