I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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