You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Randomize