Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
