Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
