smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
