Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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