NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
This is classic penis vs brain.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
